when to say enough is enough
62how do you know a marriage is over
I have been married for 20 years. For 12 of it, our sex has been almost non existant. I am talking sometimes twice a year. I used to talk to him about it but always felt it went in one ear and out the other. He is content, but I'm not. I have tried to find things to keep me busy and take my mind off of our marriage. We get along pretty good, anyone who doesn't know about this problem thinks we have an almost perfect marriage. He is content but I am unhappy and have been for a long time. We have a 12 year old daughter and I feel I am being selfish for wanting to leave him. He isn't that involved with his daughter, but she might not like having her security disrupted. There is no affection unless I go up to him for a kiss or a hug then he does it back but he doesn't go out of his way. I have told him what I want, maybe some cuddling on the couch.
He used to want sex all the time then it seemed it came to a halt. I have tried to get him to go get help but he hates going to the doctor.
I sometimes feel as if he wants me to stay with him because it is better than being alone. We don't go out, and may watch tv together but that is all. He sits on his side of the room and I sit on mine.
I really need some advice and feedback. I am an affectionate person and it hurts inside to have to squelch my feelings because I have no place to put them.
I have been married 4 other times. Part of me feels that I should stay simply because I have been married so many times.
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That is a tough decision, I have a feeling you already know what you're going to do. I would offer some advice, but someone loses, and I think only you can make that call who it is.
Goldentoad, thanks. I guess I am looking for someone to validate my feelings. Not fair to everyone.
Hey pest,
I know what that is like. I have been taking medication for bi-polar depression for many years. He was taking Paxil but he didn't like it so he went off of it and I can't get him to go try anything else.
I will also like to point out the elephant that could be standing in your living room. My Fiance was looking to buy make up, came home, took a long shower, shaved her legs then promptly left. It is her birthday I told her I didnt want to go out to the bar...she still went... I Don't blame her, but I cant watch football past that elephant in front of the TV.
OKKKK
Debi, how can you have been married for twenty years, and been married four times, and your daughter is only twelve, if you don't mind me asking? I tried to the math of your age and my head started to hurt.
LOLOL, well I have 8 children, my youngest is 12. I am 52 now. my first marriage was when I was 17.
Wow, thanks for clearing that up. It makes more sense now, but still I have no advice, sorry.
No problem, sorry for the confusion. Thanks for coming by goldentoad
Pest 3 years ago
Maybe he is dealing with depression? Sounds like that may be the case. At any rate it is not you. I can't help a whole lot...I mean look at my avatar! He does sound depressed. I have dealt with depresswion my entire life.